Movies, movies, movies...

For some reason or another (ie I've finished work and have nothing better to do) I've watched quite a lot of movies this week and unsurprisingly they've all been good. This is probably because I have such excellent taste in movies and only watch substandard films when forced to by someone else (did I really want to see Monster House?).

Anyway, you can now read my reviews of all said movies and then go and watch them yourselves. It will save you the trouble of having to watch all the rubbish you usually watch. Lets face it, some, no all of you have terrible taste in movies and need a little help. You can trust my opinions, I have a degree in film and television studies and got paid to watch movies for a living.

The films on this weeks review are -

1) Shopgirl
2) V for Vendetta
3) Snakes on a Plane
4) My Neighbor Totoro
5) Grave of the Fireflies
6) Silent Hill



Shopgirl (2005)20 years on and the audience were still waiting for Steve to make them laugh

Whatever happened to Steve Martin. From the comic genius of The Jerk, The Man with Two Brains and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels to starring in films that make even an ITV sitcom look funny. Most recently seen phoning in performances for The Cheaper by the Dozen films and The Pink Panther remake it begs the question that only Dennis Pennis dared ask "Steve, why aren't you funny anymore?".

But wait a minute, what's this... STEVE MARTIN IN GOOD FILM SHOCK. Hold the front pages, a mairacle has happened. In between committing career suicide Steve managed to fit in this low budget film adapted from his own novel.

Shopgirl is about a complex love triangle between a bored salesgirl, a wealthy businessman and an aimless young man. Yes, a modern Steve Martin film without him trying to rap, bringing up 12 "crazy" kids or pretending to be Peter Sellers. Claire Danes (Romeo + Juliet, Terminator 3) plays the titular shopgirl who has moved to the big city to pursue her career as an artist. Finding life hard she ends up working at an apartment store where she catches the eye of Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore), a bumbling slacker and Steve Martin (Sgt. Bilko, Father of the Bride Part 2), a wealthy business man. Who will she choose, the kind hearted but unfocused bearded artist, or the smooth, rich, emotionally repressed businessman.

To find out you'll have to watch this beautifully shot and acted film which has a enchanting musical score. This film will also be remembered as the last thing I watched while at work. Which was good considereing the previous film I watched was RV with Robin Williams (Fathers Day). Thinking about it, he hasn't been funny recently either.

This film isn't a comedy but does have humorous moments. I don't think Steve Martin made me laugh but he wasn't trying to. Whereas in his other recent work he tried to make me laugh and I just wanted to punch him.

Overall Rating - 4 handbags out of five



V for Vendetta (2006)The vacancy for Sunderland manager had been narrowed down to 2 candidates, both of them "world class"

Alan Moore hasn't had the best of luck with his graphic novels being turned into movies. From Hell was decidedly average while The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was anything but.

Luckily for him it's third time lucky as V for Vendetta is victorious on many levels. Written and produced by the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix Trilogy) V is set in a near future totalitarian Britain. The government led by its evil High Chancellor (John Hurt) control every aspect of people's lives, confining and restricting what they can do. However not everyone is happy with this.

Up steps V, a caped, Guy Fawkes mask wearing, long wig fan, clumsy dialogue spouting, knife expert to help free the public. Aided by a girl (Evey played by the beautiful Natalie Portman) he saves on the rough (are there any other kind) streets of London, V sets out for vengenance on those who have wronged him and the world in general.

V for Vendetta is more of a film about ideas and politics than action. The hero of the film is a terrorist and raises many issues that are relevant to the world we live in today. So that means some of you less intelligent people may have trouble understanding some of the deeper meanings and subtext in the film. But then you probably didn't understand that sentence either.

Overall rating - 4 slow motion knives out of 5



Snakes on a Plane (2006)I ordered Pepperoni...

Snakes on a Plane has been an interesting experiment. From the first moment the name was released, the internet has been ablaze with talk and discussion. So much so that the film makers changed the film from a PG13 to an R rated, adding lines of dialogue and even scenes that people had suggested.

The hype on the internet has also been immense but what would this mean in the real world. A $13 million opening weekend suggested that no one else really cared. Not a failure in any terms but no where near the level of money that a film this hyped should have made.

The film itself is a lot of fun, but could have been better though. Snakes on a Plane knows its a trashy B movie which is part of its fault. Something similarly themed such as Anaconda was good because it was unknowingly bad. It tried to be good but in falling far from that mark ended up being an enjoyable watch.

Snakes on a Plane meanwhile intentionally tries to be bad and for some parts just is. It's definitely worth a watch though. Samuel L Jackson is back in his cool personna, some of the deathn scenes are violent and funny and there are enough shocks and surprises to keep you glued to your seat.

Overall rating 3.5 fangs out of 5



My Neighbor Totoro (1988)Totoro, look at him, he's so cute


Most of you reading this have probably never seen a Hayao Miyazaki film. You've got all your modern computer animated films to watch, why would you want to watch something hand drawn from Japan. I'll tell you why, because for the past 20 years Miyazaki has been making not only the best animated films you will ever see but some of the greatest films of any kind you will ever see.

I can still remember the first time I saw a Miyazaki film and it was one I never forgot. Years after watching Castle in the Sky I've always tried to find it, to see if that film I watched so long ago was as good as I remembered it. It wasn't until the oscar success of Miyazaki's Spirited Away that his back catalogue got a wide release on DVD and suddenly the whole world could witness the greatness of his films again.

My housemate Shuji has been collecting Miyazaki films which has allowed me to catch up on old ones I haven't seen in a while and others I have never seen at all. (Castle in the Sky was just as magical 20 years on). My Neighbor Totoro is seen as one of Miyazaki's best films, which is saying something, and is also the personal favourite of Johnathon Ross.

The film tells the story of two girls who move to the country to be near their ailing mother. Whilst here, they find magaical creatures that live in the forest, including the giant Totoro, who they have wonderous adventures with. That's it, no bad guys, not much really happens but it's 90 minutes of absolute joy. Filled with all the usual Miyazaki style and charm My Neighbor Totoro is animated film making at it's best.

The scene at the bus stop will make even the most cynical, heartless adults among you smile. Like Shuji said to me after, I will show this film to my kids and they will do the same. Seriously though, if you've never seen a Miyazkai film then do so straight away. If you don't beleive me then get the DVD's and listen to John Lasseter (head chief guy at Pixar, director of Toy Story) who will tell you exactly the same.

Also worth watching for the incredibly ctachy theme song that apparantly everyone knows in Japan. You can find the Japanese version on You Tube here

Here's a list of Miyazaki's films -

Howl's Moving Castle
Spirited Away
Princess Mononoke
Porco Rosso
Kiki's Delivery Service
My Neighbor Totoro
Castle in the Sky
Nausica of the Valley of the Winds
The Castle of Cagliostro

Overall rating - 5 Totoro's out of 5



Grave of the Fireflies (1988)Angry Sunderland fans burn down the Stadium of Light


After watching Totoro I decided to watch another of Shuji's DVD's, Grave of the Fireflies. I had heard of the film but never got around to watching it. Shuji said it was a very sad movie and he wasn't wrong there.

Like Totoro, Graves of the Fireflies is another example that all Japanese animation doesn't consist of giant robots and Pokomon. It is also one of the most powerful and heart wrenching film I have ever seen. The front cover of the DVD has various critics calling the film the greatest war movie ever made and on a par with Schindler's list and they don't exagerate.

To think that most people would dismiss this as a kids film is one of the greatest cinematic crimes of all time. Grave of the Fireflies tells the tale of a brother and sister struggling to stay alive in Japan during the second world war. With their mother dead, their father off fighting and their aunt pushing them away, teenager Seito and his 4 year old sister Setsuko are forced to make home in a bomb shelter as the world crumbles around them.

This is a very perosnal film which isn't about battles but about people. Told entriely from the children's point of view this is a grim and disturbing look at war. Condemning Japanese stubborness more than anything else, the film is sometimes hard viewing as Seito tries to keep his sister healthy, whilst protecting her from the falling bombs and chaos that surround them.

Like Totoro, even though this was made in the 80's, the animation is still beautifully drawn but it the characterization that makes this film. The little quirks and detail that the children have make them more real than most live action actors and the film is full of magical scenes between the two siblings that only make it more tragic in the end.

Grave of the Fireflies definetly ranks as the most powerful animated movie ever made and shouldn't be missed by anyone.

Overall rating - 5 fireflies out of 5



Silent Hill (2006)Oooh, who wants to touch me


Now, movies made from video games don't have the best track record. Some people have argued that it just can't be done which is a load of rubbish. Pirates of the Carribean was adapted from a theme park ride. It's just a case of getting people who are talented (not Uwe Boll) to make them and give them the time and effort they deserve.

Even saying this I have a lot of films on DVD that were adapted from games. Mortal Kombat (the first one, the second was rubbish), both Tomb Raiders, both Resident Evils and Final Fantasy from what I can remember. So what to expect of Silent Hill, which first appeared on the Sony Playstation. I had never played any of the games, I just knew people had said they were scary. The trailer looked good but the reviews were mixed.

I loved the director's previous film Brotherhood of the Wolf (it's a french martial arts/giant mosnter/period movie - check it out) and am a fan of Rhada Mitchell from her days in Neighbours (as Cassandra) and then on Vin Diesel classic Pitch Black. Hell, it's even got Sharpe himself Sean Bean thrown in for good measure.

The story revolves around Cassandra and Sharpe's daughter and her nightmares about a town called Silent Hill. Unable to prevent them, Cassandra takes her daughter to said town where literally all hell brake loose. Sharpe then tries to find them but comes into trouble of his own.

Silent Hill is a film all about mood and atmosphere. By the end you may have trouble keeping up with the plot but the fantastic art direction and compelling performances will keep you glued to the action.

I can't say how faithful it is to the games but director Christopher Gans creates a frightful and creepy world with some great creature work and some nice action.

Not quite enough to overtake Mortal Kombat as my favourite game to movie, but that might be beacuse Mortal Kombat has the greatest soundtrack ever. MORTAL KOMBAT

Lets just hope the Peter Jackson produced movie of Halo will be the game to movie adaptation to rule them all. Hail the Master Chief!

Overall rating - 3.5 Sharpes out of 5